The New Attitude

I'm not a good motivator to the kids and I do not really know how should I do it, but I'm definitely willing to make a change... as of today!

To Jerome, I'm gonna be more tolerating and forgiving, hope my patience will be there, LOL.

To Sheryl, she is always the less demanding and less fortunate... middle child syndrome. I will still continue to nurture her talents and interests.

To Joshua, has see some improvement in my home education, though not much time spent with him. Will try to educate him to be a better person.

Myself? Gonna be less on FB... LOL!

Breastfeeding

I did not think of breastfeeding Jerome since beginning as he is gonna be taken care by my MIL after my maternity leave and we only gonna be weekend parent as MIL stays in East and we are in North. Though I still try to pump out for him, but no heart no milk, there's nothing much produced and by the time 1.5month, I'd already started to stop.

Sheryl was a little luckier as my MIL stays with us after she was born. I pumped the milk. However, MIL seems a little reluctant to feed as it's more troublesome to prepare, needs warm up and when baby is crying, you can't wait. I dare not direct feed too as she keep saying baby will be sticky. Since she is the caregiver, I try not to oppose. I'd continued pumping for 6 months and stop as too many meetings to attend at work.

The decision for Joshua was easy. Since I'm staying home and need lower cost (pai-seh, for the wrong reason), obviously he will take the natural production.

I have problem latching him on properly initially, and also the supply was lower then demand, so I pumped out and mixed with formula to feed. Later on, as I could not find time to pump, I simply let him latch on more frequently to boost supply, and voila, I'm on TBF journey eversince. And now, he never let go anymore.

Dunno if it's really because of breastfeeding. Jerome grew up with visits to PD almost every month; Sheryl was good; and now Joshua is not too bad... crossing my fingers.

I do not know how long I'm gonna BF on Joshua, as he is not willing to let go, will take steps at a time.

I'd survived 10days without hubby

During June holiday, my hubby was away for a week due to work commitment, so I'd decided to sign Sheryl up for holiday class for that week so that she will not be at home to allow Jerome to quarrel or fight with her.

Everything went well until 2nd day, I became feverish in the evening. It was such a bad timing when hubby is not around, worse still, my sis-in-law went holiday and my mum-in-law is babysitting my bro-in-law's 2 kids whom are down with HFMD!!!

So, when he announced to me that he'll be away for 10days in Oct... I was quite stressed... and we'd a quarrel the night before he flew off...

Anyway, luckily 10 days had passed and I was not sick, luckily... though the 2 boys were sick. Sheryl enjoyed the most as I drove her everywhere for munch everyday...

Wondering when will be the next stretch of stressful days...

The Journey of Pregnancy

My pregnancy with Jerome was the best among the 3. I'd planned to conceive immediately after marriage since I was already 30 then. And also I like the zodiac animal of Rabbit and do not wish to rush with everybody else in the year of Dragon. So I was conceived right after our honeymoon. As he's the 1st pregnancy, I can sleep at 8, no need to do lots of housework and eat lots of thing. So eventually I gained >20 kg throughout the pregnancy. The only thing to complain is that my hubby was not in town for full 3 months and by the time he saw me, I'm already "bumped". I even had to announce to practically all in my office that I'm pregnant as the satellite connection to his work site was so bad! The entire pregnancy was smooth sailing, no complication at all.

Jerome was scheduled for induced delivery at around 38th weeks due to water reduction in womb. He was delivered after 6.5 hrs from bursting of waterbag. I'd practically not using any form of pain killer as I did not know how to breathe with the laughing gas mask. Jerome did not came through the birth canal successfully as his head was stucked at my bladder, hence a vacuum was used. He did not cry when he was out, not even after hitting his buttock. Only on the 2nd hit then he cried a little and quiet again. He was a good boy... hahaha.

Jerome was just 2.997kg at birth with head circumference of 36cm and length of 51cm. He did not produce any winning 4D combination, hahahaha.

2nd pregnancy was sort of planned as I want to have a 4 years gap and do not want to go pass 35 years old. Which means this will be my last pregnancy (on plan). Same as the 1st, the entire pregnancy was easy except that I cannot enjoy sleeping at 8pm since I still need to take care of Jerome. It was not so easy during the day as I need to fetch Jerome to childcare (as I put him near my work place) but luckily had an arrangement with hubby that I'll drive instead. And since I drive, I make it a point to cook almost everyday. So every lunch time, I'll drive home to get some fresh groceries and boil soup with slow cooker. When reached home in the evening, just do simple steaming of fish and frying of vege for the 3 of us to eat. Jerome was not a fussy eater then.

Just around 37 weeks of pregnancy, on one Sunday evening, I felt contractions. I do not know what a contraction was like since I did not have the experience previously. The contractions was quite frequent, though bearable. After consulting with my gynae, he suggested admission if I feel it's necessary. So, after sending Jerome to MIL's place, I admitted myself. The contractions were not strong throughout the night, hence I was again induced in the morning. The pain and urged of delivery came after 5+ hours but my gynae has not reached the hospital. The pushing urged was so strong but midwife asked me to hold. Till today, I can still remember the feeling of not able to push when the baby is coming. And yes, this time round, I know how to use the laughing gas mask and I used a lot of it while waiting for my gynae. Eventually he came, and Sheryl too. She did not cry much too.

Sheryl was borned 2.994kg with head circumference of 34cm and length of 52cm. Yes, she did produce some winning 4D combinations. We had some small winnings too though nothing came in the top 3.

3rd pregnancy came as a total surprise. We had precaution in place but guess it's just fated for us to have the 3rd. It was dilemma for me, as I'd said that choosing to stay home is for the benefits of Jerome and Sheryl and being pregnant would mean everything planned to be re-plan again. Worse of all, we're renovating the new home and to move in within 2 weeks after my last day at work. We dare not reveal the pregnancy to anybody especially the elders as we're sure they will nag on us for doing all the taboos for a pregnant woman.

I had to handle the renovation stuff and packing practically alone since my hubby is always busy at work and out station frequently. Probably that's the reason why this pregnancy was not as easy as previous 2.

We went to gynae to confirm pregnancy on week 8 and of course my gynae dissuaded me on the abortion, hence everything is back to me for decision. My hubby says it's all me as I'm the one facing all the problems at home, financial wise we should be able to handle by tightening belt and sacrificing some luxuries.

I had my 1st problem around week 16. I woke up one morning and went to toilet. A flow of blood gushed down, immediately we went to the clinic. On the way, I had a breakdown, I had the fear of losing my baby as I'd just dreamt that it's going to be a big baby boy for me just hours ago. It was a threatened miscarriage. I was ordered to rest and not walking unneccessarily. Until now, I'm almost certain that I'm gonna keep the baby but I did not confirm with my hubby, I just simply let days past.

2 weeks later, I went for amnio test as I'm already 38 then. I'm not too worry on this part as it's already 3rd kids, my chances are low. However, I have to rest on bed again after the test. Both time, we had to request my MIL to come stay with us so that she can take care of the daily routine of the 2 elder kids.

Then it comes the day for my detail scan. This was a brand new experience for us as I did not go for this scan previously. We had even brought the 2 elder kids along as there're eager to see their little brother. Oh yes, it's confirmed little brother even before my amnio results are out.

As weeks passed, it seems like my pregnancy is going to be stable till birth. I did not gain a lot of weight probably due to all the work need done at home. Even up till birth, I had only gained 10kg. Baby was super active in my womb, everyday, he would kick here and there and never stop at all.

During one routine checkup, around week 30, my blood pressure was higher then usual. I was again ordered to rest and take medicine to control the pressure. When my pressure don't seems to reduce after few days, in fact it went further up, I was admitted to hospital. It was so bored staying in and I keep worrying about everything at home as my hubby was out station too. Of course my MIL again helping with the care of 2 elder kids. After 5 days stay, I was finally able to be discharged. The pressure was able to be controlled though still high.

It was the most dreadful final weeks of pregnancy. I have to monitor my pressure and baby movement everyday. Just week before delivery, I was tested +ve with Strepto B bacteria infection. Hence again medicine was administered.

It was again an induced delivery planned due to HBP. I admitted around week 38, on the night before the scheduled delivery date. I experienced contractions in the middle of the night, as it was 3rd pregnancy, the midwives worry that delivery can happens anytime, hence I was pushed to the delivery ward. When my gynae came by in the morning, he suggested natural delivery as my contractions was frequent and high intensity. As the clock ticked, the contractions don't seems to go any further and I was dead tired. Around noon, my gynae finally decided to induce the birth. Just 2 hours latter, the piggy was out to the world.

He is a total different from Jerome and Sheryl. He cried the very moment he's out and never stop until when he was placed onto my arms.

Joshua was born at 3.096kg with head circumference of 35cm and length of 52cm.

I was extremely relieved when everything turns out ok for him after so many scares. I do not have any worse pregnancy then many others, but this certainly is my worst and WE definitely will do ALL POSSIBLE, NOT to have the 4th... just simply cannot take it.

The Decision of 3rd Kid

After Sheryl, we'd decided to stop the factory. In fact, we'd aborted once just 1 year after Sheryl. At that point of time, the decision was easy and there's no way for us to have another one then.

After I tendered my resignation, then I realised that my monthly visitor was missing. It was tough to decide this time round as my main intention to stay home is to give my full attention to Jerome and Sheryl. With a new baby on the way meaning lesser time to the other kids and many other things need to be re-prioritised.

However, the reasons lay in front of me were not convincing enough for me to terminate the new life, especially I'd done once before. As time passed, the "motherly-love" over-powered the "reality".

So in the end, I have 3 MONSTERS!

Jerome's Character

Jerome was a quiet, obedient kid. He is not those that will climb high and low, run up and down and ransack the house. He can even sit still on his car seat since young.

He was taken care by my MIL after my 2 months maternity. As she stays with my SIL in the east but we stay in the north, we only fetch Jerome back home during the weekend. Perhaps that was the reason he is so sticky to me.

After his 2nd birthday, we'd decided to send him to childcare center since we prefer to have him at home daily. The adjustment was not too good, he cries a lot, which was always the case even when we send him to MIL place. However, he soon adapt alright into the center and progress slowly eventually. He was such a good boy that the girls in the center always help him on the chores like packing his bag when going home... he's slow in doing things. He's not like other boys who will bully the girls, run around shouting etc. We can have him at home on the 19th storey and not having window grill installed! He never a single time climb the sofas or chairs. He is a little "kia-see". His motor skill is not fantastic.

When he was around 5, we decided to move so as to be nearer to my MIL's house. After months of searching, both my SIL and us decided to go under one roof, together with my FIL & MIL. We bought 2 units in a condo near town. This decision, I would say, in my point of view, cons more then pros.

My nephew is a more daring young boy and I would say a little spoilt. Although he's 2 years younger then Jerome, he had given Jerome some "education" on how to play "rough". And of course, this is the bad decision that I'd mentioned that we'd pulled Jerome out of Childcare. Slowly, he became dis-obedient, lazy, idle... He had many small die cast toy cars that was in tip-top condition before we moved but then all peeled, rusty... all because the cousin and him play car banging!!!

To be honest, I still can't really say how his character changed as I cannot see what's happening in the day at home. It could be partly due to influence, partly due to his younger sis Sheryl, and I believe definitely due to the influence from the TV program that he watched throughout the day.

No matter what's the reason, I'm now facing a big challenge on how to pull him back to the proper path as we can see that he will go haywire control is not impose NOW!

Staying Home

I worked as a Project Manager in a US MNC, management are in US and suppliers (ODM) are in Asia. The management are not so particular in attendance, most of the time taking time off or leaving early or even work from home is not an issue, especially my job is basically managing and coordinating, a phone and a computer is suffice. However, as it is US centric, most of the conference call has to be either in the morning or at night. These timing is when Jerome is at home and need supervision and guidance. Worse of all. my hubby travels a lot for work.

After serious discussion, we had decided for me to stay home. 1stly, to teach and guide Jerome. Not just academic but also his character and behaviour (will write another post on this). 2ndly, to provide more early education for Sheryl. She was 4 when the decision was made and hence a lot more can be done on her. She was great in English, however, Chinese and Maths was not so up the mark.

So I handed in my resignation and... realised that I was pregnant... accidentally. We still go ahead in that decision while hesitating on the new-comer...

So on my 38th birthday, I started my stay-at-home life.